I wish I could say I’ve accepted all of this with grace and strength, and in some ways I surprised myself with that response, but not with everything. Thanksgiving Day was especially hard. It was the first of the significant unmet expectations in this season and the day passed by feeling very much like any other day caring for Mummy ji. I ended the day in tears. The next day as I was scrolling Instagram, I happened upon a liturgy from the pen of Liturgies for a Life Abroad that spoke to me. It spoke to me so deeply (especially paragraph 5) that I want to repost it here to remember and come back to as I’m sure there will be many more unmet expectations in the future. And maybe you need it in this season (or a future one), too.

As timelines get elongated, it feels like a sick joke - one that’s frustrating and painful and exhausting making me want to cry and yell and curl up in a ball until its over. I wonder why some seasons get extended, why God seems to want me in this place for longer than I want to be, why there isn’t an end in sight.